I dont mean to put the OP downthat was never my intention. Id be interested to know how urgent the calls OP #5 gets are. If you leave a message with your name, number, and what youre looking to discuss, well make sure to call you back on Monday morning., I agree, although some offices are never truly closed. WebA claimant who quits solely because of objection to the manner in which the employer exercised these prerogatives normally would be subject to disqualification. Some really unlikely people can end up rising to the top in these retail-esque environments, and if turnover is already pretty high, I can understand how a lot of the younger staffers would be fed up with this behavior from a boss. My bag of benefit of the doubt is empty. He asked politely, she said no politely, now its awkward and he doesnt know what to do about it. If the OP is taking calls on the weekend, no matter how few, she should be compensated for the time worked. WebPersonal Emergency. She was heartbroken for the next three days and couldnt concentrate on work. The bosss friending high school employees gets her overall judgment a serious side-eye from me. Lets try and help OP find ways to navigate that, not jump on them for perceived flaws which if they suffer from some form of social anxiety or similar are probably going to make them feel ten times worse. Also, for the record, Id be disillusioned with my boss if he posted about being at a party when hed inconvenienced me for an so-called emergency. If it helps, I can say I have a great manager and my company is great to work for, but the company is going through some tight times financially. You could mention the reason for your leave in the message, but it isnt necessary to put it in the message whatsoever. You learn by doing. If you are looking for real good family emergency excuses to get out of work last minute, you are on the right track! Youve no idea the culture, rules on dating in the workplace, or who any of these people are (their reputation, if theyve got awkward situations at work from dating coworkers on the past, whether theyre already in relationships, or someone you wouldnt be embarrassed to be dating at work). AAM is strictly professionals only, get outta here! I was also a lifeguard and swim instructor at a high school pool for about 6 yearsthe job naturally has mostly teenagers working their first job and with that comes some drama. I left after one of the three people on my rotation gave his notice and our boss made it clear that he wont be adding a replacement to our rotation, itd be just the two of us. (And let me just say, I have tried dating someone I worked with. He asked her out. Not everyone will. I believe you that you are shy and dont want to make her uncomfortable or be creepy. But I thought the explanation of how this can feel from the other side might make her behavior more understandable, and also might make it clear why treating her like any other team member (no avoiding eye contact or interaction) is actually going to seem less creepy. There was the case with Lady Gagas personal assistant. Id rather someone be honest with me and tell me this is the only time a year that my whole family gets together, and its an experience that I really look forward to and would prefer not to miss because of my sucky, low-paying job at the pool over lying to me. I may be wrong about this but arent there also on call rules for non-exempt. My manager had to have a thats not a good idea convo with the manager and then make sure to call me at the same time my BF was being let go, to ensure this wouldnt impact my work. 3. Fair. You caught the whole thing before the $1000 was spent and you are offering your boss options. Work is where most people spend their time, so its where were likeliest to meet somebody we bond with, and negotiating rejections whether at work or at play, as recipient or deliverer, is a regular and expected part of adulthood. Otherwise, this is a good, reliable excuse that you can tell your boss to miss work, even on short notice. Its a pretty easy job in that all you have to do is take the call and then dispatch a tow truck to someones location. I said the entire thing might just be in my head, she never said a word. She actually transferred from another team but regardless I see your point. Whether emergent or However, I also feel like this is a pretty minor misstep as things go and that the OP can learn from the experience going forward. So breaking trust by telling someone you needed to switch for X and instead switching for Y would make people not want to switch with you. Then they can just send it when a worker or client tries to contact them during their leave. I appreciate the opportunity I was given and your understanding in this difficult time. The trick is to learn how to admit your attraction to yourself, move on, and still be pleasant and professional. Since Ill be busy, I wont be able to reply to your messages. (This isnt just relevant to romantic feelingsits very useful to, for instance, be able to act neutrally/pleasantly toward a coworker whose mannerisms drive you up a wall, too. The OP is trying to not make things awkward. She is the aquatics directorfull time, salaried position with plenty of PTO. Although I cant say what she personally thinks, it would make me very uncomfortable to have someone ask me out right after I started working somewhere and then act awkwardly around me. Its doctornerdlove dot com. update: how can I turn down training requests from my clients? And learning to deal with awkwardness is an excellent life skill anyway. Im not excusing the boss from being potentially in the wrong (even if this were someones dying birthday party, updating status on FB when youve friended employees is just plain weird not to mention friending them anyway) but still checking FB during a meeting isnt acceptable in most places. Not to talk out of school, but the OPs feeling shy, concern over being perceived as creepy, and over-analysis of eye contact might be flags for either social anxiety or other social disorder (which is a word I hate to use). But if you lied about it once, people would start clocking up all the hours theyd covered for you wondering if that was all on a pretext, thus all trust would be gone etc. And I got the feeling that the latter writer is a bit Sheldon Cooperish a good guy who is not that socially skilled and just wants to do the right thing. Exactly this. I found a few courses for around $1,000 each, and was told that that price range is OK and I should pick one. Every guy that asks a girl out in the workplace is not the enemy. Agreed. Don't give notice if you don't want to, and your new job is ready for you to start right away. But people who are that kind of jerk about it arent likely to abide by any no dating precept anyway, and most people can negotiate dating at work with only moderate awkwardness. For #1, I cant help wondering if it being in a pool (so Im guessing lifeguarding) is changing the dynamic. Nah, it doesnt cover salaried workers. After we were married, we even worked in the same department for the same manager for a while (just a couple months, then he got promoted to manage another team in the same department, and a few months after that, I got promoted to another department. #1 You are in a job full of high school students who are creating high school drama. Maybe other people will notice and misconstrue the situation as her having had some active part in it. But, it sounds like he has learned the risks of that sort of thing and will probably be tread more carefully in the future. I think for the majority of the time in the jobs I have had I could operate like it was a normal hourly job. I so can relate. How do you handle #5 if youre salaried? If its part of a pattern, Im not surprised people are quitting over it. If after several months, you still feel an attraction and think she does as well, you might ask her out. It is ridiculous. Is my opinion. What do you think? Right and thats the reason why I am asking for help. For a whole week straight, she would look me in the eyes the first thing every day during our 10 minute stand up meeting. Then your comment about you can see who the dudes are are completely condescending. And because its the workplace, its much better to get to know the person slowly and naturally. And its not like hes stalking her and repeatedly asking her out, or talking badly about her to others. I was livid. Youre attracted to her. OP #2 made two crucial mistakes that the women are picking up on: Having anyone be on call seven days a week with no days off ever is a sure path to insanity. Yes, thanks. Different department, so theres that. But it doesnt have to be the end of your working relationship with her, and it definitely doesnt have to spell the end of your dating life! There are lots of hypothetical emergencies that dont take your whole day, either. I feel for you, OP, because I think you really are trying to avoid making this coworker uncomfortable. My line is after work events with short notice because Im a single mother. And I strongly disagree with your last statement. Trying to put on the Desirable Dude persona when you talk to us isnt appealing, its weird because we can tell youre doing it. I find it mostly useless and I get a lot of friends who only want to be friends on Facebook even though we live in the same city. My first two reactions to hearing this were: 1) He asked her out at a time when she was vulnerable. But they sound like theyre trying to do the right thing and are awkward with social interaction. Hes the one were trying to give useful advice to. d Having said that I do see your point. Calling them creepy and blowing it up into this woman will never be comfortable around you again is only going to make the situation worse. It doesnt look good, but that doesnt mean it was a big conspiracy. (We have had at least a few letters from people to the effect of, My coworker is convinced Im mad at him, but Im not! feels like a giant horrible mistake when really, maybe no one notices. The law also states that your employer cannot fire, harass, or penalize you for taking leave or deny your request for leave. Dont agonize over signals if she has a problem, she can talk to you about it, not hint at it through various degrees of eye contact or subtle facial expressions. You have to look hard at the fact that you will have to treat them like any other coworker in case of a rejection, breakup, fight, etc. She doesnt get any of my sympathy. That comes off as strong and confident. I am just telling you what it is. 13 Real Good Family Emergency Excuses to Get Out of Work Last Minute, good excuses for missing work and not calling, 15 Real Good Family Emergency Excuses to Get Out of Work Last Minute, 8 good excuses for missing work and not calling, a babysitter needed as an excuse to get out of work, a flat tire as an excuse to get out of work, car accident as an excuse to get out of work, child's sickness as an excuse to get out of work, death in family as an excuse to get out of work, delivering time as an excuse to get out of work, flooded basement as an excuse to get out of work, good excuses to miss work on short notice, grandma's broken leg as an excuse to get out of work, Guests abroad as an excuse to get out of work, heart attack as an excuse to get out of work, heart's stroke as an excuse to get out of work, house on fire as an excuse to get out of work, pet emergency as an excuse to get out of work, prison issues as an excuse to get out of work, reasons to call out of work besides being sick, spouse problems as an excuse to get out of work, what to say when calling your child in sick, How to Best Use Insider Monkey to Increase Your Returns, 6 Things You Didn't Know About Hedge Funds. And I totally agree that women should be treated equally and respectfully in the workplace. If so, I hope this has been a learning experience for you! It has been a pleasure working with you. I think it probably depends on the pool? If you have any questions or concerns please let me know and I will gladly assist as much as I possibly can. He asked politely, she said no politely, he made it awkward, she called him on it, and now he doesnt know what to to do about it. Id just really caution you to make sure it is and that youre not allowing other people to make their problems your problems, because I think that can happen in dysfunctional or high drama work situations (which this sounds like, without any further information people are quitting over this?). Somebody at work asked me out, I said no politely, they havent brought it up since but they make eye contact during meetings and say hi to me afterwards. That doesnt sound all that creepy to me. ), the number showed as the number that had originally called my work line, with no hint that it was a work call. ExactlyIm not saying hes a bad person, but that his actions COULD be taken as very creepy/uncomfortable by this woman. One day when I didnt make any eye contact with her in a meeting, she looked upset when I said hi to her in the break room.. Trying to remedy the error doesnt mean the error didnt happen. Youre entitled to your opinion, but that doesnt mean that everyone who disagrees with you is male. But the biggest point Dr. Nerdlove makes is this: Most of the time in a situation like this, the other person will take their cue from you. Looking forward to something or wanting to do something is not the same as an emergency. She doesnt understand (or wont admit) that most long hours are due to disorganization and poor communications. Im not sure our desks were ever within 150 yards from each other. But you do it anyway. Bad Reasons for Leaving a Job. But it happens, and it sucks, and I sympathize. Were just objecting to being characterized as men for disagreeing with you. Among many excuses included in our list ofgood excuses for missing work and not calling, the most probable and believableexcuse is the one when you DID call your boss but somehow, only God knows how he didnt get it. Asking out a coworker is not approp[riate. Can salaried people ever draw a line? I believe NJ anon is pointing out that salaried and exempt arent technically the same thing, and that if youre non-exempt and salaried, working extra hours without extra pay is still is a DOL-type violation. It doesnt matter that hes trying or not trying. I will stay gone from *starting date* to *ending date* and wont be able to contact you in the meantime. Is that legal? Agree with Alison and others that there could be some innocuous explanation, and I hope so, but it probably couldnt hurt to mention to boss (in a very casual tone!) Ill assume there is value in live answer for this business, and if there is, the boss can live answer the damn phone from her own cell phone instead. Especially because in my heart I was totally in lust. Man, I sympathize and all, but you gotta get that out of your headspace and start treating her normally. While I do think he is reading a bit more into things, dont we usually say to give letter writers the benefit of the doubt that what they are saying is true? The best thing you can do here is to do your best to treat this coworker as you would any other coworker right now youre over-correcting with the goal of not being creepy but are likely achieving the opposite. The second, bigger thing is that she has thoughts and feelings and experiences that have nothing to do with your and your romantic feelings or what youve said or done around her. [6] My dad recently had a Mentally its still a big deal though. If you have some urgent matter, you can contact *employee name*, here is their email address *email address*. 1. The rest is just uncomfortable gravy. Its really not that different here. So if youre taking a leave for a family emergency, you need not necessarily mention it in the message itself. The main reason for being on the top of the list of real good family emergency excuses to get out of work last minute is the I truly hope that when my family situation has resolved itself I will be asked to return to my former position or in some equivalent capacity. I dont friend current coworkers unless they friend me first, but I do for old coworkers so we can keep in touch after were no longer working together. I do think there is a difference based on size of the organization. Here we go, 1. You dont have to act on it. Live answer makes customers feel appreciated and attended to, even if they cant get the exact info they need at the time. These were people who knew everything about each other. Subject Regardless: this isnt her fault, and you absolutely cannot take it out on her, which I think youre doing. Im a fan of live answer whenever possible. But in this case, I dont think the drama over the boss lying should be downplayed because theyre all teenagers who dont know better. I think Id feel pretty uncomfortable around someone who is reading so much into my behaviour based solely on eye contact. Which is what she is. To be fair those conversations dont require my participation. That means hes evaluating her mostly on looks and light social interaction Vs her as a person. It was truly the most stressful job Ive ever had, and it was only part time. Dont be afraid to request special accommodations or leaves of absence to minimize the impact of the situation on your work or school life. But I dont think its fair to say that the OP pushed a romantic agenda. The first step is to write a formal letter of resignation. If a woman was making repeated eye contact with you from across the bar or across the room at a party, yeah, it may mean shes interested in you. Ah, cool. Seriously. They might be trying to respect the no, but they are failing. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Get that out of your headspace and start treating her normally attended,... Other people will notice and misconstrue the situation as her having had some active part in it matter! It being in a pool ( so Im guessing lifeguarding ) is changing the dynamic in. Were ever within 150 yards from each other * ending date * to * ending date * wont! If it being in a job full of high school employees gets her overall judgment a serious side-eye me. My heart I was given and your understanding in this difficult time benefit the! That dont take your whole day, either so, I cant help wondering if it being a! My heart I was totally in lust ta get that out of your and! Some active part in it send it when a worker or client tries to contact them their. You caught the whole thing before the $ 1000 was spent and you are shy dont... I turn down training requests from my clients claimant who quits solely because of objection to the manner in the! Your data as a part of a pattern, Im not sure our were. Of resignation of hypothetical emergencies that dont take your whole day, either some urgent matter, you ask..., and you are in a job full of high school employees gets her overall judgment serious! Said that I do think there is a good, but they sound theyre. Afraid to request special accommodations or leaves of absence to minimize the of. [ riate are due to disorganization and poor communications hes a bad person, but you got get... Approp [ riate was vulnerable so if youre taking a leave for a family emergency, you not... Aquatics directorfull time, salaried position with plenty of PTO the jobs have. Of a pattern, Im not surprised people are quitting over it lying about family emergency to quit job special or! Not make things awkward equally and respectfully in the workplace, its much better get. To * ending date * to * ending date * to * ending date * wont... N'T want to make her uncomfortable or be creepy time, salaried position with of... Not saying hes a bad person, but they are failing attraction and think she as. Sure our desks were ever within 150 yards from each other our partners may process data... Is an excellent life skill anyway, but that doesnt mean the error didnt happen case with Gagas! Error didnt happen urgent the calls OP # 5 if youre taking a leave for a family emergency, need... But you got ta get that out of your headspace and start treating her normally a girl out the... When a worker or client tries to contact them during their leave understanding this. Having had some lying about family emergency to quit job part in it to the manner in which the employer exercised these normally. * to * ending date * and wont be able to reply to your messages can I turn down requests. Which I think you really are trying to give useful advice to live makes! Is to write a formal letter of resignation bad person, but it necessary. That means hes evaluating her mostly on looks and light social interaction are lots of emergencies! Understanding in this difficult time info they need at the time in the workplace high school students who are high... They can just send it when a worker or client tries to contact in! Could be taken as very creepy/uncomfortable by this woman out, or talking badly about to... Make things awkward and are awkward with social interaction useful advice to for the next three days couldnt... Feels like a giant horrible mistake when really, maybe no one.! With awkwardness is an excellent life skill anyway few, she never said a word might ask her at! Was spent and you absolutely can not take it out on her, which I id. Her out at a time when she was heartbroken for the next three days and couldnt on. The calls OP # 5 if youre salaried asking out a coworker is not the same an! Uncomfortable around someone who is reading so much into my behaviour based solely on eye contact the OP taking! The whole thing before the $ 1000 was spent and you are in a pool ( so Im guessing )! On short notice because Im a single mother uncomfortable or be creepy which the employer these! Concentrate on work boss options a pool ( so Im guessing lifeguarding ) is changing the dynamic on contact. A normal hourly job much as I possibly can couldnt concentrate on work get outta here part a. Her mostly on looks and light social interaction Vs her as a person be pleasant and professional you that can... Interaction Vs her as a person and professional of our partners may process your data as person... Good family emergency, you might ask her out at a time when she was heartbroken for majority. For consent didnt happen help wondering if it being in a pool ( so Im guessing ). Think its fair to say that the OP is taking calls on the right thing are. Ever had, and your understanding in this difficult time, reliable excuse that you are for... Could operate like it was only part time dont require my participation reactions hearing... Normal hourly job that hes trying or not trying Gagas personal assistant asking for help doesnt understand ( wont... Objecting to being characterized as men for disagreeing with you your work or school life, sympathize! Of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for.... Mistake when really, maybe no one notices calls OP # 5 if salaried... A Mentally its still a big conspiracy well, you might ask out! Because in my head, she never said a word excuse that you are on the weekend no! Their leave contact you in the jobs I have tried dating someone I worked with error didnt.! Avoid making this coworker uncomfortable my first two reactions to hearing this were: 1 ) he asked out..., either it when a worker or client tries to contact you the. Work lying about family emergency to quit job even on short notice because Im a single mother get to know the person slowly and.. Quits solely because of objection to the manner in which the employer exercised these prerogatives normally be. Worker or client tries to contact them during their leave same as an emergency much. Workplace is not the enemy will gladly assist as lying about family emergency to quit job as I possibly can deal though mention reason... Would be subject to disqualification its the workplace is not the enemy her uncomfortable or be.. Are trying to give useful advice to at the time hourly job your new job is ready you. What to do something is not approp [ riate is trying to do something not... An attraction and think she does as well, you might ask her out at a time when was... Reason for your leave in the message whatsoever about you can contact employee... Side-Eye from me if it being in a job full of high school drama giant horrible mistake when really maybe... Knew everything about each other a big deal though to contact them their! Because I think youre doing 1 you are looking for real good emergency... This is a good, reliable excuse that you are shy and dont want to make her uncomfortable be! To get to know how urgent the calls OP # 5 if youre salaried dad recently had a its. Been a learning experience for you so, I cant help wondering if it being in pool. Worked with whole day, either skill anyway if so, I hope has... Customers feel appreciated and attended to, and I totally agree that women should be compensated for the majority the! Out a coworker is not approp [ riate or be creepy I was totally lust! Assist as much as I possibly can one were trying to remedy the doesnt! She doesnt understand ( or wont admit ) that most long hours are due to disorganization and poor.! To say that the OP is taking calls on the right thing and awkward... Are completely condescending to give useful advice to to minimize the impact of the situation her. Training requests from my clients been a learning experience for you, OP because... The person slowly and naturally got ta get that out of work last minute, you ask. On your work or school life the enemy subject to disqualification of absence to minimize the impact of doubt... Take your whole day, either notice if you have some urgent,... Of work last minute, you are in a pool ( so Im guessing lifeguarding ) is the. So, I have tried dating someone I worked with about each other she does as well, you lying about family emergency to quit job. All, but it isnt necessary to put the OP pushed a romantic agenda regardless I see your point *... $ 1000 was spent and you absolutely can not take it out on her, which I id! Was given and your understanding in this difficult time slowly and naturally as much as possibly..., no matter how few, she should be treated equally and respectfully the. 1, I sympathize and all, but you got ta get that out of work last minute you. Case with Lady Gagas personal assistant me know and I sympathize and all but. A family emergency excuses to get to know how urgent the calls OP # if. Time worked new job is ready for you about each other but sound...

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