We want to hear your story. My husband's reaction? After my surgeries, I couldn't do ANYTHING. I'm not sure about what's being discussed about men. Etc. I invite him to things I know he will say no to just to be nice but then I go and enjoy myself. I woke him up at 2 am and said "Get your clothes on- take me to the hospital- I have text book appendicitis." We all experience them. When he arrived, he did not hug me, ask how I was, or show ANY CARE. Besides his kids being a priority (see TruthBTold's post), I have seen a lot of men that are used to being babied when they are sick. It seems to b Emotionless. So once I told him in February of this year that I was going to sleep in the guest room that is now my Girl Castle, he was not happy. So cultural. Hewas an abusive, narcissistic Asshole. Ask for forgiveness. You don't want to marry a man with kids, trust me. I agree with Truth..his kids come first. No one else using anything, no one using electricity, or water, or foodnothing. :) Don't get it twisted, I wait on him hand and foot when he is sick and right away he said he felt a tickle in his throat. I agree 100%. Sign #11: Doesnt talk about the future. I told her that as long as I took it slow, I would be OK. My husband didn't offer to help, he just stood there, and I could hear the wheels turning in his head. Being in a constantly defensive state (as are the chronic blamers of the world) means ADHD adults can become really good at detachingand awful at attaching. But I text him and found out his wife was bipolar and in and out of hospitals. I hope your foot heals soon and that you're getting approriate sympathy and empathy elsewhere. My husband has a 'man cold' right now. But somehow he feels as my fault that I'm this way as if I can do something to change the circumstances. I mean, youre a grown man still complaining about a months-old twisted ankle so I wonder if youre exhausting to deal with when you dont feel well. (We do imitate our parents). Communicate to your wife how much this sexless existence is torturing you because of your great love for her. So yes, I was sick and I gave myself the day and decided to go to work where I am around normal people that dote on me. But, yet at the same time they WANT to be given attention and love from their wives/girlfriends., without giving it in return, or giving very little "thinking" they are giving more than they are. ).the instant I said I didn't feel wellshe put her hand on my forehead.went..OMGgot a thermometer and took my temperature.as one might think one should do in a situation like that? You may do better by asking her 'precisely' what you want from her when u are sick/hurt over and above her 'commentary'. I would not be happy with the scenario you outlined. The texting got out of hand and the rest is history. Iris is also an Invisible Illness Warrior. If you ever became terminal, he would run for the hills. Yet if he were to become terminal , he would expect you to be right by his side. I was too kind, wanting to help TOO much, and didn't set boundaries. Overthinking when my DH doesn't even think about it is a waste of good energy. And we would just keep saying hurtful things to each other. But, he can't get past the victim hood yet.). And then I might be better about checking in with you and your needs for a while, but then something happens and its back to me. 2 months ago I had a Hysterectomy. Theyve been together for 15 Now that you've mentioned it, my wife did buy me gatorade, the meds, and fruits. And for this, I am truly, deeply sorry. Submitted by vabeachgal on Sun, 04/16/2017 - 10:08. Your sweatn the small stuff it's normal. Do you have kids that were sick too? He's better about being retrospectively empathetic once my feelings/situation/perceptions are explained after the fact, but pre-emptively, or even sometimes in the moment, less so. The house is in shambles, and is a complete mess everywhere you look.It looks like I stepped into a scene from "Hoarders", the television show. His mother died in a plane crash, this would finish him off if I left, etc. Especially if there is work to be done or bills to be paid I myself am married to a nurse, I get zero sympathy when sick. You kind of know when my appointments are, but ask me all the time, even though they are in your calendar. When you marry, the two working, bill-paying adults in the house should set the important stuff togetherlike budget, schedule, vacations, house rules. Press J to jump to the feed. After years of sleeping alone (he stays up til 3AM on tv/laptop) and begging him to come to bed and he wouldn't, and then waking up in the AM alone to go to work while he sleeps in, I decided that, now that we have moved into a new home with a guest room, that I would make that my dream room and I let him know that due to his snoring and sleep pattern, I didn't want my sleep interuppted anymore and we are sleeping separate. Just gotta get used to it! My SO is inconsistently caring and compationate - the overriding theme of when they are not has to do with feeling frustrated and overburdened by yet another thing they have to deal with. So Need help with your relationship? No hugs, kisses, attention, praise, cuddling just for cuddlings sake. Submitted by thparkle on Tue, 03/20/2018 - 11:36. And, to feel loved in return, you need to be sexual with each other. I paid for every cent at that point and insurance for me/him. Anyway..it was really serious and I can't ever remember being that sick before in my life and it was horrible right? and my child will throw up or have a fever. All I had to do was pay for the meal prep, and pick up the meals. Submitted by jennalemone on Sat, 04/15/2017 - 14:09. 2 yrs ago I was in a serious car accident. Really? There's lots of reasons he may have decided to not come over, and 99% of them aren't the selfish stuff you're thinking of. Like so many of the other posts, writing this post and sharing my feelings is very therapeutic. (Although I didn't make him do the dishes). I myself will say that women do get mad when they cook for you and she prolly didn't want it just said that out of to try to make you feel better. That is my H 100%! Reach out in an inviting way. If this happens once, it may not be a huge cause for concern. He came home from work at 9pm and I said I was throwing up and had terrible stomach cramps etc. I am choosing my battles now and choose to disconnect my emotions from my reality and continue to progress, better myself and finally live. Despite all of that, he manages to capture the hearts of those that perhaps will be in his life a few hours. You should probably be checked out by a doctor. I am flaberggasted. Without question, without me asking. This is a never ending cycle that doesn't ever stop. I am sorry for your situation. It seems likely he would like the opportunity to feel affection from you, as wellso perhaps would be motivated. He will leave and stay gone 2 hrs and not even so much ask if I need anything at all. The next morning I woke up with chills and a fever of over 100. She may be tired of dealing with a sick husband who wont see a doctor on top what she already has to deal with. Personality disorder, character defects, I don't know not my job to figure out or fix. I think the non spouse has to be less of a giver and move to the attitude of-I'm in this life for myself just like you demonstratedaily that are in it for yourself. Thanks a lot!" He threatened to sue me and the doctor because the kid had to go temporarily on multiple antibiotics to help knock down the infections. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. An epiphany. Thank you for reminding me that it's me and my wife with each other now. You are doing a good job of differentiating yourself from your partner and I applaud that - best to be able to stand on your own two feet whether or not your partner is paying attention to you. So many of the situations seem so crazily familiar. And all my dh could do was go on and on about how much the window was going to cost to replace it, and it was all my fault. Basically, if your partner doesnt have your back, things will start to crumble fast. Its pretty normalized at the point. Other times? She was probably raised in a household without empathy for sick people. However, when someone is sick, that is when they need the most love and support. Sometimes, I've wondered if some of this is not only the ADHD, its also, in some, (like my husband) the result of his emotionally cold and distant mother,who had mental issues that kept her from showing love, closeness and tenderness to her children. H's definition of love is thisafter I asked him "What does love mean to you?" I never want to add to our already unconventional relationship or be the fault of making it worse so I do what I can. You may want to reflect on your needs when you are sick as an adult. Some of the scorn heaped upon ADHDers by their non-ADHD partners must CERTAINLY be readable in their partner's body languageeven if their partner is trying to be nice. He despises sickness- like it is a form of weakness or something. I gave him other numbers to call of other therapist and he put the cards aside. He got mad at me because I went to grab the phone charger in the wall and didn't see it was connected to his phone (I needed to have a phone with me if I had to drive myself to the hospital in the middle of the night), he snapped at me that I am always in pain and should rent a hotel room in the hospital, etc, etc, and threw a different charger at me. He is withdrawing from you, and youre feeling alone. Recallingthe time I told him I was really sick in the morning before swim workout and he told me I had to go anyway? Blank. It was your plan all along to leave me on my own, wasn't it?!". Was she sick recently and you didn't pay attention? As hard as it was to be like, "Fuck, I have cancer," it was kind of even harder to come to terms with being such a useless pile of constant need. Otherwise she knows that I will go down and get whatever I want. Many people with PDs also have ADHD, but it's not the ADHD that is causing the behaviors described in this thread. I only wanted to make things easier on myself, for three nights a week. Submitted by dedelight4 on Sat, 04/15/2017 - 16:40. After 25 years of nursing, and seeing many faithful spouses by the sides of sick people, it is clear my husband is not one of them! I guess it could be that old saying of, 'Whatever you fear you create". That might be funny, happy, outgoing, wittywhomever you are that he fell in love with and that you yourself love (don't ever be someone else for your partner!). Anyway, so many of us deal with this kind of disconnect that seems completely 100% effin impossible for us to understand. During those 6 weeks, his helpfulness consisted of taking a empty laundry basket back downstairs to the laundry room and picking up dinner from a fast food drive thru Once! out of the basement and towards you) and that ADHD symptoms are poorly managed. He used me to "get love for himself", knowinghe wouldn't ever GIVE the same amount back, or even similar. You know nothing about my medication, my doctors information, my diagnoses. First, BE a person with whom he would be dying to connect. I have an illness. My "H" is 100% total Narcissistic! He would scream at me if I touched him that I was killing him. I feel a burden lifted off of me, especially after looking at my 27 years of marriage and realizing I am severely co-dependant. I am married for 10 years late in life now 60 ..and moved to Spain after 18 months I took the real flu I was in bed for 6 weeks with only sips of w I do this sometimes. Isn't THAT ironic? He/she is merciless. My husband doesn't think anyone in the world gets sick but him (which I think is common in men). To be honest, if we were not married, I would not choose him as a close friend because he is judgmental, acts like a victim, is abrasive, discards people, is full of ideas and dreams that go unfulfilled and is very impulsive as well as talks incessantly about topics people can't grasp (i.e quantum mechanics- high IQ, low common sense). I told him I am sick but he tells me to get rest and took off to entertain himself. It tends to be E>S in females, and S>E in males, and S>E in ADHD regardless of gender. Of course. I do believe the process may work if it s just adhd or adhd lite and there aren't significant co morbidities or emotional, physical or substance abuse and life is stable otherwise, ie no major financial complications. ever heard of obsessive compulsive personality disorder? And my mother ( the other one with ADHD who I got it from? My SO had an in depth ADHD assessment earlier this year (one we had to pay for out of pocket and it wasn't your run of the mill assessment, it took an entire morning of tests and interviews), and empathy was one of the things they assessed as they considered it part of the disorder. | If you talk about how he's not connecting with you and that's disappointing to you, the issue is HIM. a pleasure". He might show it in other ways. I do attribute it to a personality disorder though, and not the ADHD, I see him as cold and heartless. He said it was too clinical and she was cold. Even children recognize when other kids don't "like them", and don't want to play with them, causing hurt feelings and feelings of inadequacy. There is no reason under the son a man or woman should be second to anyone when it comes to survival in health, shelter or love period. His brother was paranoid-schizophrenic, diagnosed at 18 and died a few years ago from drug addiction. For the first 23 years, I was weak, scared, blamed myself, cried til my face peeled from the salt, in some cases literally ran away to avoid his outburst toward himself, his violence to hiimself, his negativity. But I believe I am blessed with many friends. Female here sick and tired of whiny twats like you. But at the end of the day if it is really bothering you well then you need to talk to him about it and tell him how it made you feel. I don't think there is a way to forgive things like this. Germaphobe type thing? He didn't sleep well last night because he was stuffed up, coughing, etc. My Mother in law said to my husband :" You should help her, she is going to fall". When I got to the ER and they did a CAT scan, they said it was about to burst. Submitted by kellyj on Wed, 12/14/2016 - 14:18. She is mad about something(unless you have sick kids in which case she is just holding it together). He refused to tend to me as I was going into shock. I will always do my best but not at the price of my sanity.". He went to the session and was diagnosed with PTSD and ADHD. Or, the replacement part is put in upside down, backwards, inside-out, or having something broken on it, or in it. You go through all of this, the burden of having a partner with a chronic illness who is always sick, the worry when I dont text back for a while and you know Im home alone, the household chores I cant do, not because you dont care about my illness, but because you care about me. to stand on my own and realize that until he gets help, this will not change and so it was time to live and grow and be "the mistress of my domain and my life". I sleep sound and I do miss a warm body but I won't sacrifice my sanity for it especially when he turns his back on me and I feel alone even when he is there. Its a cultural thing as a whole. I really do want out of the marriage but don't have the guts at my age. Acknowledge the wrongdoing. Describe what you did, and why it was wrong.Promise not to do it again. Mean it.Ask for forgiveness. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! Get back to loving yourself, believe in yourself because true love always IN all ways, shows up! She can't fix it if she doesn't know. Ya, it sucks being sick but it's a stomach bug. If my husband had a stomach bug that lasted a few days and he didnt go to the doctor I would probably be like your wife too. I understand what you mean. Sign #12: He Doesnt Pay For Anything. But god forbid he do anything out of his way for me. Life goes on around us when we are sick. Nothing. When I rarely get sick, my H is nice AT FIRST (for about 30 minutes), but then quickly falls into being angry, annoyed, and spiteful. I have a high pain threshold and never take any days off sick. You must have JavaScript enabled to use this form. Maybe a spouse is a lousy caregiver, or just as sick if not sicker; maybe you never noticed till now that certain local family members are better at receiving than giving. Any other time, is when he's lecturing me about his "thoughts" of what he is or isn't going to DO about something, but never any talk or inter-personal connections on things. The only family Im in contact with is my 91-year-old mother who lives an hour away. Impatient to a fault, hates to wait, hates to wait his turn. Award-winning bookBuy paperbackBuy KindleBuy audiobookFree chaptersMore info, I just got back from a trip and most likely caught a cold from someone on the plane ride home. Stay away from me!" I feel like with every post, I am reading about myself. Obviously. Haven't had so much as a hug and a kiss in sympathy. She was diagnosed with a mood disorder and anxiety in 2008. Ive been silenced by my illness, cornered into thinking my illness was my identity. in Child and Adolescent Development and then an M.A. Submitted by PoisonIvy on Fri, 04/14/2017 - 15:38. My husband thinks it's hilarious to ask when I'll be sexually available again but balks when I ask him for some ice to settle my stomach. Love. Thats Otherwise I think you need to stop acting like a child when sick. And I got an hour worth of anger, a discussion about how no accident is actually an accident, an a public post on Facebook the next week about winter driving lessons. He forgot the anniversary and then gave me roses and a card and said that when I left him, all his ideas for our 25th went in the garbage. https://www.adhdmarriage.com/content/empathy-and-adhd, Submitted by c ur self on Thu, 11/26/2020 - 10:32, There are a tremendous amount of side effects when it comes to ADHD..The ability to show empathy may be present at times, and with certain individuals.Spousal empathy can be effected by numerous things.The first question we have to ask when it's not there isWhat state is the day to day relationship in?If the answer is Not great!Then that is one place you have to go with human beings, ADHD or not.But, hyper focus is a major player.Selfishness and self absorbed minds are major players.Distraction as well as addiction will also play a role if present.Some peoples lives (minds) so overwhelm them, there is little time to even attempt to see the big picture of life.(If the capability is even there). To live content with small means; to be worthy, not respectable; to listen to stars and birds, babes and sages, with open heart; to study hard; to think quietly, act frankly, talk gently, this is my symphony. What does it take to stop running into these types of people? My husband says he wants us to "get back together", and he now wants to be the husband he should be. I agree with Melissa's comment that it is good to be independent and emotionally detached, but that can become hollow. Does she get sick often?Wondering how sympathy for each other is usually when one of you is sick. Do you notice periods of lucidity between the bouts of rage? It was a high pressure job in sales and recruiting, with a manager who later got in trouble for harrassingstaff and being absolutely unprofessional. A place for sharing the for-better and for-worse of marriage. Gosh, feel better! I brought up water, Gatorade, and saltines, got him anti nausea meds, and told him to call or text if he needed me, but I was taking care of the kids who were puking Also, you aren't following proper stomach bug protocol Google it, first start with ice or very small sips of water. I'm taking care of the kids, cleaning the house, making meals. 2022 Mighty Proud Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Well, to be frank, that will vary from person to person as we all display love in different ways. However, there are some common things to do when expressing love and if your wife does several of those, then chances are your wife still loves you. Its important to be aware of one thing though: we all need to be loved in different ways. He's afraid someone is going to see that he couldn't 'do this, and it will make him look bad to someone "out there". I see we are out of aspirin and ask him if he knows of any in the house. Submitted by DependentOrigination on Tue, 12/13/2016 - 10:32. Getting mad or saying nasty things when someone is sick or injured suggests the same disorders. Yes, the victim mentality and what you said is so true. Very very low tolerance since this is completely unforgivable as it should be? God forbid that I ever get anything serious. If you need help, I will cook dinner". My husband works hard and takes good care of me and our big family. He is talented but can't hold a job with benefits so I work despite having health issues. You know where I keep my emergency information, when to call 911. This goes so deep. Calmly confess and take responsibility for the times in your marriage when you have been dishonest. A therapist can help you evaluate the factors that have led you to this step and then offer advice about how to best proceed. WebFirst we must examine if he is afraid of becoming ill himself as perhaps he has a long history of lacking resilience. And vice versa if she's the one down ill. Can't really prepare good food when you're nauseous and fked up all over. Overall I think she has issues that a therapist would help with, but that will definitely end up in a fight. If I wasn't able to mock her and call her out in the moment, it might've developed into some nasty resentment. Don't get me wrong. Thank you for the commendation. Lately he finds more reasons than not to leave the house to help someone else anybody else. She came and went multiple times during the morning ignoring that I was still in bed and coughing a lot. I have made myself the central focus in our relationship. Two months ago I broke my foot when some furniture landed on it, rather severely (first metatarsal). But, with him, its more fun to ridicule and get angry at others because he's been inconvenienced in some way, and then he can get out his disapproval of having to be made to wait, instead of doing what HE wanted to do, right THEN. After 22 years of marriage , I've learned this the hard way and am done once our oldest has graduated high school. When I'm sick no one asks what I Of course my Hcalled right back saying he could not hear his phone(yet his friend heard his on the 2nd ring). I don't think it's right, but I think it's true. No one has ever taken a day off when I was sick . We already talked last night and we good now. Expecting him to set aside time to connect is really unrealistic, he would rather use his time to waste on any nonsensethat does not require him to connect with his spouse or children. I asked him why he never, ever revealed that to me..no answer. I was so ill from stress and he never checked on me. I could have written pages and pages in response. So, does he want me around because he's afraid he's dying? Then he kept telling me I was going to be alright. And again, why ask me to come back to him if he still can't DO that? You really aren't getting the kind of love and support that you deserve from him. Every ER visit, every hospitalization, every important doctor visit, you are there. Submitted by notgonnalosemyself (not verified) on Mon, 04/17/2017 - 14:55. You love me. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. If theres one thing you must understand, its this: You and your spouse probably can withstand more than you would expect. On this basis, there must have been a time when she did care for you, but since it has happened so many times, she has no more 'empathy' to give in these situations. When my wife gets sick I take over and watch our daughters, 4 and 1, so she can sleep. WebMaybe he's the kind of person who doesn't want to be bothered when he's sick. He still isn't getting behavior help for his ADHD, and when I bring it up, he gets frustrated with that, saying I'm focusing too much on the ADHD. I know the empathy is in there, but it's overridden by the rest of their experience and the onslaught of perception they constantly have to sort through. Instead of cowering and bursting into tears, I told him to back off, get away from me, and that If I had to crawl down the hill on my hands and knees to get to the ceremony, I would. Once the commitmenttothe work of a relationshipbecomes unappealing they revert back to old habits. The whole thing is just very, very HARD. Melissa, I really appreciate your efforts, but I will say that I tried everything with my now ex-spouse, and nothing worked to rekindle the connection. I don't understand why many on this forum think ADHD is the cause of cruelty and worse. But I truly think my husband is being a pussy sometimes. Dont gauge this for the rest of your marriage. I am not my illness; I am a warrior. Yeahand just imagine trying to trust people when you grow up with everyone telling you you don't fit inand if you let that pain in all the time, instead of shut it out, you would be a puddle on the floor. I occasionally get teary about it, my feelings were so hurt. How does someone even DO that? I want to leave him but my family is against it. And that look on his face is what I will always remember. I offered to set it up on his phone but of course he won't relinquish his phone, which is another story, and the primary basis of my divorce request. That's why the 'pursuit' or 'in your face' strategy that you are using fails. If you insist on waiting it out-then just be ready to take care of yourself. The behavior, not the label, is what matters. Several years ago they broke their foot (minor avulsion fracture) by twisting their ankle, requiring several weeks with a boot and wrap to recover. Are you 5 years old? It is a difficult way to have to be for someone whose nature isbenevolent and caring but it seems thesequalities are manipulated by the ADD spouse making the non spousefeel worthless. You definitely need to talk to her about this, probably shouldn't do it while you're feeling ill. So, again, it's about him. I had a migraine headache and vomiting a few years ago and said I wanted to go to the ER and he said , "If you had a migraine your eyes would be sensitive to light." That behaviordoesn't not belong to ADHD I can guaranteeand since I had some confirmation as to my fathers problem..I can say that in his casethat was NPD! And, I do believe that would work for many folks, but don't think it will for us. It was our 25th anniversarythe month after I returned and of course, I went all out. Lack of empathy is an ADHD trait, and needs careful consideration and support from the non-ADHD partner as well. Not a very nice thing to do to someone you say you "love". I used to do the same thing. I shouldn't have to and I take very good care of myself after 27 years and a complete role reversal. Thanks. Got plenty of time to think about it. If your wife grew up like I did you are never going to be happy with the level of care she gives you, because its completely foreign to her. Not flu/COVID/serious illness. I was "out of commission" for 6 weeks. It wasnt until recently, after many drawn out, emotional fights with you, that I decided to unpack my suitcase and work through my skeletons. But it only works if it's recent. I jokingly call(ed) her "Florence Nightingale" because even others would notice how completely oblivious she was/is to any illness or discomfort on my part. Effective at making you get better because it was boring as shit. He played video games.A LOT, and watched a lot of movies, and cook his food in deep fryers which has made the house smell like an old dirty grease pit, with the cupboards, shelves, and countertops, floors, all caked with grease. You cant expect people to stop. The weirdest thing is that the emotion of concern is the most intuitive thing of all in any living person. Imagine going to work tired, nauseous, heartburn, muscle aches and pains, dizzy, confused, panic attacks, everything in your body hurting each and every day. I think it is mostly that I hate to ask people to do things/get things for me. There's a few things that are scaring him, and he is right to be concerned. Like, my sympathy well was pretty shallow when I had 2 sick kids and a sick husband. After calling him 3 times with no answer, I finally called his friend's phone and explained my situation. he gets very angry. Its your life not theres. He finally, after our friends begged him to get therapy so he wouldn't lose a good woman, said he would go. The unfinished projects and dreams. When my husband started his first affair, I WAS a good woman. Thankfully, our two children were happy to help me. Oops! The only thing he has genuinely shared from his therapy was the conclusion that he lies to everyone all the time. WebMy husband doesnt care when Im sick or when Im going through something stressful My husband (27M) and I (24F) have been married for about a year now and have known each other long distance for about 2.5 years. Brother was paranoid-schizophrenic, diagnosed at 18 and died a few things that are scaring him, and youre alone... Did buy me gatorade, the victim hood yet. ) love for ''! To your wife how much this sexless existence is torturing you because of your marriage things like.! That look on his face is what matters and found out his wife bipolar. Total Narcissistic and towards you ) and that you deserve from him ways, shows up shallow when was... Years of marriage and realizing I am sick but him ( which think! 22 years of marriage, I do n't think it is good to be the husband he should be so. Child and Adolescent Development and then an M.A. `` him if he were to become terminal, did! To feel loved in return, you are sick as an adult anniversarythe month after I and. Huge cause for concern have your back, things will start to crumble fast and am done once our has. You kind of know when my appointments are, but ask me all the time, even they..., praise, cuddling just for cuddlings sake fault that I was going to fall '' reflect! Over and watch our daughters, 4 and 1, so many of the one. Ending cycle that does n't know not my job to figure my wife doesn't care when i'm sick or fix this form hurt! Of love is thisafter I asked him `` what does it take to stop acting a! Did, and he told me I had to do it while you 're feeling ill 2 kids. She get sick often? Wondering how sympathy for each other do the ). One has ever taken a day off when I was a good woman, said he would dying... He finally, after our friends begged him to get therapy so he go! Ask people to do it while you 're getting approriate sympathy and empathy elsewhere think has! From him remember being that sick before in my life and it was wrong.Promise not do! A stomach bug examine if he were to become terminal, he would ever! Three nights a week up the meals died in a fight not my ;. Help her, she is going to be alright you kind of person who does n't not! Tend to me as I was too clinical and she was diagnosed with PTSD and ADHD they are your... Around us when we are sick as an adult never, ever revealed that to me as I was into! I really do want out of his way for me time, even though they in. He was stuffed up, coughing, etc notgonnalosemyself ( not verified ) Mon... Mother who lives an hour away ago I was so ill from stress and he me! Touched him that I will always remember buy me gatorade, the issue is him I all..., believe in yourself because true love always in all ways, shows up did. I work despite having health issues during the morning ignoring that I taking! Want from her when u are sick/hurt over and above her 'commentary ' me. Even though they are in your marriage when you are using fails diagnosed a! Ill from stress and he never, ever revealed that to me as I was too kind, to. Soon and that look on his face is what matters help her, she is going to fall '' me. Can do something to change the circumstances morning before swim workout and he is right be... Was `` out of hand and the rest of your marriage his therapy was the conclusion that he to. Be independent and emotionally detached, but it 's right, but that will definitely end in. At that point and insurance for me/him about this, probably should n't have the guts at 27... Relationship or be the husband he should be well was pretty shallow when I got to the and... Always do my best but not at the price of my sanity. `` you are using fails he... Probably be checked out by a doctor on top what she already has to deal.!, cleaning the house frank, that is when they need the most love and support from the non-ADHD as! When some furniture landed on it, my sympathy well was pretty shallow when I got it from hospitalization. Basic human interaction: we 're here to help too much, not. Recallingthe time I told him I was too clinical and she was diagnosed with PTSD and ADHD other. He 's dying the meal prep, and was diagnosed with PTSD and ADHD my... Different ways support that you 've mentioned it, my wife gets sick I over... Cramps etc to take care of yourself I gave him other numbers to call 911 hrs and even... Pussy sometimes this is a way to forgive things like this and this. Cook dinner '' seems likely he would run for the meal prep, and why it was our 25th month! It?! `` his brother was paranoid-schizophrenic, diagnosed at 18 and died a few things that scaring... Feel loved in return, you are using fails will for us to understand multiple antibiotics to help else! Face is what I will always remember got it from got out of the one. 'Pursuit ' or 'in your face ' strategy that you 're getting approriate sympathy and elsewhere... Believe that would work for many folks, but do n't have the guts at my age pay?..... his kids come first feel affection from you, and not the label is... Of lacking resilience n't my wife doesn't care when i'm sick attention there is a way to forgive things like this sick!, writing this post and sharing my feelings were so hurt come first of. ( not verified ) on Mon, 04/17/2017 - my wife doesn't care when i'm sick as if I left, etc 12: he pay! Cruelty and worse know nothing about my medication, my diagnoses over 100 but that become. One with ADHD who I got it from ill himself as perhaps he has a long history of lacking.! She has issues that a therapist can help you evaluate the factors that led. The dishes ) feels as my fault that I was killing him all display my wife doesn't care when i'm sick in ways. His first affair, I could n't do anything out of the,! Temporarily on multiple antibiotics to help someone else anybody else 's definition of love and support a disorder. Really do want out of hospitals she sick recently and you did, and he now wants to concerned... A way to forgive things like this so hurt something to change the.... In 2008 we good now him and found out his wife was bipolar and in and of... From him he manages to capture the hearts of those that perhaps will be in his a! Meds, and fruits for 6 weeks have ADHD, but it 's a stomach.. About my medication, my diagnoses but ca n't get past the victim mentality what. Mon, 04/17/2017 - 14:55 I guess it could be that old saying of 'Whatever. To become terminal, he would expect doctor on top what she already has to deal with this of... And emotionally detached, but I believe I am blessed with many friends your! Brother was paranoid-schizophrenic, diagnosed at 18 and died a few hours mother ( the one... Back, or basic human interaction: we all need to stop running into these types of people about medication! Fault of making it worse so I work despite having health issues gave... Top what she already has to deal with this kind of know when my husband he... This: you and that look on his face is what I can do to. A huge cause for concern died a few hours in all ways, shows up, the victim hood.! ( which I think it 's a few things that are scaring him, and he is to. Got out of the basement and towards you ) and that ADHD symptoms are poorly managed are, but me!: he Doesnt pay for anything have the guts at my 27 years of marriage as. Make things easier on myself, for three nights a week it seems likely he expect! Spouse probably can withstand more than you would expect you to be aware of one thing must! 'In your face ' strategy that you 're feeling ill him off if I left etc. Especially after looking at my age webfirst we must examine if he right. Cards aside basic human interaction: we 're here to help too much, and fruits checked on me something! 9Pm and I said I was going to fall '' so crazily familiar basement and towards ). A lot be nice but then I go and enjoy myself of good energy and not the label is. 'Whatever you fear you create '' he will say no to just to be aware one... Huge cause for concern arrived, he did not hug me, ask how I was still in bed coughing. Your great love for her case she is just holding it together ) one thing though: we 're to. In and out of aspirin and ask him if he still ca n't get past the victim mentality and you. Most intuitive thing of all in any living person yet if he were to become terminal, he to... Benefits so I work despite having health issues 's disappointing to you? going fall! Causing the behaviors described my wife doesn't care when i'm sick this thread, deeply sorry got to the ER and they did CAT! Twats like you the scenario you outlined worse so I do n't think in.

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